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Don’t Divorce Your Kids

So this last week I was on vacation with my kids.  Just the three of us.  This was the first vacation we have taken without my ex that didn’t involve driving to visit family.  I must admit for some reason I was a little nervous about going on a vacation with just me and the kids.  I really don’t know why.  But my attitude completely changed when we got there.  I spent most days loading up the wagon at our vacation rental and pushing it down the street to the beach. My youngest daughter and I laid in the sun, swam in the gulf, paddle boarded and just relaxed and enjoyed our time together.  My other daughter, not a beach person, enjoyed going into town to shop, eat ice cream and just about turned into a five year old again who saw Mickey Mouse for the first time at Disneyland when we found a used book store.  I couldn’t drag her out of there.  We went to Orlando for a few days to enjoy Harry Potter land and for an older teen she was once again five again enjoying all things Harry.

I think back about our vacation and wonder what I was so nervous about.  While we were there my ex called to talk to the girls.  In a way I felt bad for him.  Although it was his choice to be where he is he is missing out on so much time that will be gone in a flash never to be again.  I have pictures and memories, I have special time with my girls that won’t be forgotten, and they have these things too.

Right now I am in the middle of a case in which one parent decided to pick up and move four hours a way with the children of the parties.  The kids are young and the time had come for the father to have 50/50 parenting time.  In an effort to keep the children from the father the mother decided to move.  She told the father this was what she was doing and that she didn’t want to fight with him.  He would be allowed one weekend a month if he could make the drive.  She told him not to fight her on this because she didn’t want to put the kids through it.  Well what would any loving, caring parent do?  Fight for their kids of course.  She thought if she told him not to fight her he wouldn’t, she could keep the kids from the dad and she could live happily ever after.  My question is why?  Why would you do this to your kids?  Why would you do this to the other parent for no good reason?  Why would you think that someone wouldn’t fight for their kids?

After this last week with my kids I feel sorry for anybody who doesn’t have that bond with their kids, for any reason.  I feel sorry for anybody in the position my client has been put in to have to fight to have the relationship with his kids that he and the children deserve.  I feel sorry for any child being put in the middle of a battle between parents because one person can’t seem to see beyond their own selfishness and do the right thing.  I wouldn’t give up my time with my kids for all the money in the world.  Having time alone with them, no distractions, no school, friends, activities, just us, makes me realize how much I am going to miss them in a few years when they are gone.

To anybody fighting for their kids, don’t give up the fight.  For anybody who has given up, get off your ass and get back in there, you deserve it, your kids deserve it and you will never, ever regret it.  It’s worth the fight.

“Don’t divorce your kids, they can’t afford it”

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