The other day when I was talking with my daughter she said something to me that really threw me. She told me that she wouldn’t mind living my life. Seriously? After everything she/we have been through these past few years and even beyond that, with my divorce and everything that led up to it, I wouldn’t even want to live my life, why the hell would she?
Well it turns out that she thinks the way I handled everything then and now has been very inspiring for her. She believes that if she ever, God forbid, is put in a similar position, she could totally handle it. I have had a lot of experiences in my life, some good, some pretty bad, and I have shared some of those with her. The good stuff somehow appeals to her and the bad stuff she feeds off of to make her a better person.
Going through a divorce is tough enough for the couple but there is no reason to make it anymore difficult on your kids then need be. I have always been of the philosophy that the kids should be on a “need to know” basis. I obviously can’t hide everything from them but in a million years I would not tell them the worst of it, let alone involve them in it. I try and keep everything right at the surface level, so they are not completely in the dark but they know we are going to be ok. We try to keep things as normal as possible and because of that they are doing amazing in their school and personal lives. I have seen so many kids struggle through this, end up in serious therapy, end up in jail, and even end up in the graveyard because of the the inability of the parents to shield them from the things they have no business knowing about.
So when my daughter says she would live my life, I can only pray that she never has to.