I have been divorced for 2 1/2 years, for the most part things have been uneventful. I have full custody of our two children and my ex lives in another state and never sees our kids unless he happens to be in town for something – they are usually an afterthought unfortunately. Nevertheless, it has been good for me as I don’t have to deal with him except for financial purposes regarding the kids.
In December his mother died. At the time he was unemployed, living in some crappy apartment in the middle of Wyoming and just getting by day to day. Fast forward to today. He is living in her house and enjoying a substantial inheritance. I do not begrudge him this. It was sad and unfortunate that his mother died, my own mother died many years ago and I still hurt everyday. In his case there was not a lot of love loss but the inheritance he received more than made up for his loss. I know it sounds terrible to say but that was their relationship. Now that he has a few bucks in his pocket he is under the impression that he can some how control my life by holding certain financial things over my head. Money is power and he is using it to its fullest extent.
During the time we were separated and ultimately divorced, he was unemployed at times and I did not push him for financial contributions as I knew it was pointless. While I did not have a lot of money I had enough to take care of myself and our two kids during his times of unemployment with little to no contribution to the care of our children from him. I did what I had to do to get by. That meant working up to three jobs at one point but that was ok because I didn’t have a choice, I had a family to take care of. Now I find myself unemployed once again due to health issues and relying on him to pay his obligations, which he now has more than enough money to do. It is becoming quite the fight. What do I do? How do I handle this? I have done nothing to deserve the hostility being thrown at me. Where is this coming from? It has stopped me in my tracks. The answer is revenge.
The revenge I am seeking however, is within myself. I have no desire to seek any sort of revenge directly on him, I just need to prove to myself that I truly am free and do not need him in any way, shape or form. I have been unemployed as of late but my ultimate goal is to surpass every expectation of myself. I need to show myself that I can do what I have put my mind to and empower myself and eventually others. It is a waste of time plotting any sort of actual revenge on him for the perceived and actual disses against me, no my revenge will be to have a great life and finally put him in the past. I have come to realize that I can only rely on myself and to think otherwise is a mistake. You have complete control over your future, if you rely on someone else to create that future for you you will be sorely disappointed. Make the life you want, not what somebody else wants for you – or actually for themselves.
Revenge is a dish best served with relish.