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To Gain Your Freedom You Must First Give It

Your divorced, you are ready to move on, but something is holding you back.  You can’t seem to meet the right person and every time you think you have you end up alone, again.

You can’t seem to let go of the past.  You think you have, you think you’re done but every time you send that text or email or leave that voicemail or respond to your ex when they contact you, you are not letting go.  I get that if you have kids together you have no choice but to communicate, but how you communicate is what is important.  If you find yourself contacting them for every little thing even no matter how unimportant you haven’t let go.  If you find yourself picking fights just to get a reaction, you haven’t let go.  If you find yourself engaging when baited by the other person… If you are constantly filing frivolous motions with the court, which you may be telling yourself is the right thing to do for the kids, you haven’t let go.

At a certain point its time for us all to move on as difficult as it may be, especially if yours was a long term relationship.  Starting over is scary and hard, its not the same as before you were hurt, before you gave yourself and your identity away to someone you thought would be there forever.  You want so badly for that feeling of unconditional love and acceptance, to know someone is there who will have your back to know that there is someone counting on you for the same.  But if you can’t let go of the past you can’t move forward to the future.  There is a reason we live our lives moving forward and not backwards.  We have to accept and forgive the mistakes of the past and know that there will be mistakes in the future as well, but we don’t need to define ourselves and our lives by those mistakes – we need to define ourselves by what we have learned from them and how we avoid repeating them.  Your mistake may not necessarily have been marrying your ex in the first place but instead not letting them go sooner.

” You have but one life to live and only you get to choose how live it – choose wisely.”

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