Last year after 21 years of working in family law I decided to leave the office behind and focus on the part of my job I loved the most, the emotional support. I loved metaphorically holding my client’s hands and sometimes literally. I loved listening to them and offering them guidance but mostly I was proud to be able to provide them with the tools to recovery and the understanding that this doesn’t have to define their lives. Unfortunately that was difficult to do when you have 60-70 active clients and have minimal time for each client. My focus had to be on the legal portion because that’s where we made our money. The clients had to figure out the support side themselves. I hated that, I wanted to be there for them however not only did I not have the time but I didn’t feel right about billing them over $150 an hour because they just needed someone to listen at that moment.
After leaving I wrote a book Start Here: Your Guide Through Divorce and Recovery (on Amazon), started a divorce coaching business and started offering free workshops to guide people through the process. However, every time I tried to advertise I was either turned away, my posts were taken down or I received negative feedback. I was told on one site I advertised on that it was a family site and that this was not the place to talk about divorce, and then was accused of only hosting the workshop for my own personal gain. This was one of many comments I received.
Is this really still a hush hush topic? Is it still not pc or polite to talk about divorce in public or at all? Are people too sensitive or do I just not understand something? Maybe I’m wrong for trying to help those in need even in our “family” neighborhood but unfortunately divorce is a reality. Nobody wants it, it’s not fun, it can be expensive and if there are kids involved it can be even more difficult. I know, not only is this my profession but I also watched my parents divorce and have gone through my own. I am trying to lift up those in need and help them through one of the most difficult periods in their lives and am somehow a villain for wanting to do so.
If divorce is in the cards for you I want you to know this four letter word – time. It will take time to get through it, it will take time to get over it and in time you will move on and be happy again.