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Why Get Married

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Is there really any reason to get married? Why not just live together? As long as you make it very clear that there is no marriage i.e. common law why go through all of the hassle and expense to get married? There are plenty of couples that have been together for decades that are perfectly happy not formalizing their relationship.  Take Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn for example.  They have been together for 30 plus years and have never seen a need to get married.  They have raised children together, bought homes together, have grandkids and are very much in love.  While they do not have the certificate that binds them together legally it has not dulled or changed their love in any way.

Couples have spent tens of thousands of dollars on marriages that didn’t even last five years.  That money could have been used on so many awesome things, such as houses, traveling, savings for their future.  And when things don’t work out you are then forced to spend possibly thousands of dollars more to end the marriage, so what’s the point? Is it really worth it just to say you are Mr. or Mrs. someone.

I realize that some people would never dream of living with someone without being married but why? It could serve two purposes.  First, to find out what living with this person is really going to be like before you take the biggest step of you life.  You might just find that as much as you love them you absolutely could not live with them.  And second you may decide to forgo the fancy ceremony and put that money to better use.  It is not taboo as it might have once been to have children out of wedlock, more and more couples are doing it and in our modern times families come in so many different shapes and forms this is absolutely nothing most people or even your kids, would think twice about anymore.

Marriage is hard and a lot of people are not really willing to work that hard.  A marriage is like a garden, if you don’t tend it, water it, feed it and nurture it it will die.  If you aren’t willing to get down in the dirt and pull the weeds than you might as well plow it over and move on.

After 21 years of family law I have begun to believe that maybe marriage isn’t necessarily the answer to our happiness.  Maybe all we need is to be happy with ourselves and then we can truly welcome another person into our lives in whatever form and have our happily ever after.

My Divorce Coach Intl.


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