For this post I thought I would give my readers a chance to respond. I am going to post a scenario with a few possible solutions and I would like your comments as to which solution you think would work the best.
Scenario 1;
Finally, two years after getting divorced Susan has her first date. It has been so long since she has been on a date she’s not sure she can even contain her excitement. It is almost 6 and her ex is coming to pick up the kids and then she’s off.
6 p.m. no ex. 6:15, 6:30 still no ex. Susan has texted and called but he has not responded or answered her calls. Now what, she is supposed to be leaving to meet her date right now and she can’t leave the kids alone. Her ex has done this plenty of times before, and even not shown up at all, but it was never a big deal because she usually didn’t have any place she needed to be, but this time is different. Susan is so angry and sick and tired of this and if she hears one more time, “sorry, I got caught up with my girlfriend and didn’t notice the time, it won’t happen again” she is going to scream”. Finally, an hour later her ex shows up. By this time she has had to cancel her date because they are too late for the movie and she wasn’t sure when or if her ex would show up. How should she handle the situation when he shows up?
a) Pitch a fit and tell him what an inconsiderate jerk he is for always being late, let him know he ruined her evening and she is sick of always being the one to care for the kids when he doesn’t show up on time or at all. Make sure he knows how angry she is.
b) Threaten to call her lawyer and file contempt charges and restrict his parenting time since he apparently doesn’t care about it anyway. If he is always going to be late or not show up at all then parenting time should be modified to give him less time so hopefully he will be more thoughtful about the little bit of time he does have.
c) Talk to him privately and let him know that due to his tardiness you had to cancel your plans for the evening and you are not happy with his constant tardiness or no shows. Explain to him it is unfair to the kids as well because they are constantly being disappointed and know they cannot rely on him, and buying them ice cream does not make up for it. From now on please give me 24 hours notice if you need to change your parenting time. If you are more than 15 minutes late and I have to call the neighbor/babysitter/family member to watch the kids you will be responsible for paying them. Please respect my time as I do yours.
d) Do the same thing to him and see how he likes it. That’s the only way he will learn.
Can’t wait to see your thoughts.
familylawcoach 